Friday, November 03, 2006

Catfight!

Ring. Ring. Hello.

Michele, what do you really think of Catholics?

Well, hello to you, too. Who is this?

It's Katherine Kersten.

Oh, Katie, I mean Kathy, it's you.

Darn right it's me. What's this business about the Pope being the Antichrist?

Kathy, don't be so touchy! I said in a debate that I loved Catholics!

Yeah, right. And you're not answering my question. Do you believe that the Pope is the Antichrist? The Wisconsin Synod Lutheran Church you belong to believes that.

Come on Kathy. You don't believe every little thing the Catholic Churches teaches you, do you?

As a matter of fact I do.

Well then how come you have only four kids? Marcus and I are Protestants and we did better than that.

That was a cheap shot, Michele. And you still didn't answer my question.

[sighs] All right. I do think that the Pope is the Antichrist. But I still love Catholics, at least until next Wednesday.

[raising her voice] I thought so! Every Catholic in the Sixth District is gonna hear about this. And there's a lot of those Papists up there, as you probably call 'em.


[also raising her voice] That's what they are, aren't they? And it's not as though Catholics don't believe some outlandish things.

What's that supposed to mean?

Transubstantiation for one. Magical transformation of juice and crackers to blood and flesh. Give me a break. What voo doo.

[shouting now] Blasphemy! Apostasy! You'll burn for this Michele! It's the lake of fire for you!

[also shouting] Oh you think so? I think it's you and the Pope who had better learn the backstroke!

Shaddup bitch! [click]


Papist.

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