Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Wedge politics . . .

Well, Spot has had a nagging case of holiday good cheer and good will. But Timmy Pawlenty (or TWedge) is helping him pull out of it! Yesterday, TWedge had a press conference to announce an initiative to help put Minnesota back on the track to whiteness. You can read about it in this morning’s Star Tribune, page A1.

TWedge followed up on his sideswipe of immigration report last month by declaring yesterday that illegal immigration was, like, ruining the entire legal system. Actually, he said “undermining the entire legal system.” Spotty had no idea! Maybe Spot should have seen some clues, though.

Spotty has noticed that parking meter enforcement has been really uneven lately. And if you have a problem with your Best Buy extended warranty, heaven help you; the Uniform Commercial Code is in shambles. Let’s not even talk about illegal spitting! Maybe TWedge is right.

Or maybe TWedge is just a xenophobic cipher, a provincial goober, a bigoted twit. Not to mention probably a bed wetter. Spotty thinks all of the above. Well, except the last one. Spot is pretty sure that TWedge is in control of his bodily functions. In fact, Sigmund Spot thinks TWedge is a tight arse.

Several people have pointed out that TWedge’s arithmetic in his immigration report of a few weeks ago is flawed; it probably is. But that is neither here nor there in deciding whether Minnesota wants to follow the bellwether states of Florida and Alabama in asking to be deputized in the immigration business. Beat cops checking immigration status? Swell.

The citizens of our core cities should be so pleased that TWedge has decided that the police should take time away from violent and property crime enforcement and deterrence to see if a student – especially one of those foreign-looking students – has overstayed his visa. Let’s see your papers boy! You speaka ‘Merican? No fast moves now!

TWedge also wants a ten person squad of junior G-men to blanket the state with the authority to question, detain, and arrest suspected illegal aliens. Men in Black at the state level. Spot thinks this idea could be spread to other areas of federal jurisdiction as well. Perhaps we could get some deputized IRS agents to audit high-income earner tax returns. Or maybe we could get together a group of state employees to police gun show transactions for the ATF! Believe it, people, when Spot says this has promise.

TWedge, did Karl Rove tell you to stir up the immigration pot? Spotty heard Jim Ramstad mention it too, recently. Or did you come up with these spectacularly stupid ideas all by yourself?

Tags: is afraid of

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